1) i drink quickly.
2) i make a wildly inappropriate faces when i taste a wine not pleasurable to my particular palate.
3) swirl, sniff, taste or sniff, swirl, taste? i can never quite remember.
4) i don't believe in wasting. nothing gets poured or spit out.
5) i describe things as 'pretty good' or 'like church wine', ignoring relative sentiments involving tannin, body, acidity, etc. you get the idea.
6) i drink quickly.
my ineptitude was readily apparent when amy, jessie and i went wine tasting at oliver winery in bloomington. we arrived about 45 minutes before closing, so unfortunately we only had time for tasting and no time to enjoy a bottle on their porch, drinking in the...scenery.
the wine list suggested we 'enjoy responsibly by selecting 6-8 varieties for tasting'. i selected 10. luckily, our....whatever the $4 word is for the guy who pours the wine....had a good sense of humor and poured away. he was also very knowledgeable and able to offer helpful tidbits, like that a wine had been fermented in a steel barrel under cold temperatures, that screwcaps are coming back in vogue, and that the best way to win a chicken wing eating contest was to not have the spiciest sauce. he was also very patient in teaching me to pronounce gewurztraminer, which i love but never order because of my embarrassing mangling of german.
here's the line-up:
valdiguie 2007: this was the winner of the malapropos grimace.
chambourcin 2007: estate bottled
zinfandel 2006: a favorite
gewurztraminer 2007: another favorite
traminette 2007: estate bottled. i liked the gewurztraminer better.
muscat canelli 2007: a great summertime wine
sky dog rose: one of their new wines that i actually saw just last week at the country fresh market in western hills. a blend of muscat, french colombard, and concord. as our pourer said, it's not complex. i thought it was a little boring.
catawba 2007: estate bottled. i bought a bottle for my dad, as it is his favorite wine. he's very manly.
port: yummy!! dare i say, robust? i don't know if i want to chance a fancy wine-word.
so there you have it. we did keep the poor folks a little late, because we needed to buy some bottles to go. (yes, i'm that asshole) the bottles were ardently enjoyed with cheese (a two-year old cheddar amy recommended and some havarti), processed meat, and pretzel crackers, while in our pajamas watching movies. slumber parties sure have changed.